Your Secrets are Safe with your friends

As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends. They can't remember them either.

You can't stay young forever. But, you can be immature for your entire life.

I live in my own little world. But it's okay --- they know me here.

Forget health food. I'm at the age where I need all the preservatives I can get.

I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started......

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and many of the roads weren't paved.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember Algebra.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is better than being young.

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"